


Confession

by AvaDiablo



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Fangirls, Gen, Humor, Idols, Karaoke, M/M, Party
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:00:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaDiablo/pseuds/AvaDiablo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He was singing, but, man, was it off key and specked with giggles when he himself noticed how really off he was. But it didn't matter, it was in good fun, not like a performance, even though his friends all made comments about it being really bad. But no one could ignore the huge smile and sparkling eyes that went together with the funny fuzzball which was Aiba Masaki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confession

He was singing, but, man, was it off key and specked with giggles when he himself noticed how really off he was. But it didn't matter, it was in good fun, not like a performance, even though his friends all made comments about it being really bad. But no one could ignore the huge smile and sparkling eyes that went together with the funny fuzzball which was Aiba Masaki.  
One of his friends was constantly nudging my shoulder while Aiba was set to sing another; which was countered by some of his friends who weren't quite as drunk as Aiba was. When ever I looked at Kazama Shunsuke for pressing his finger rather harshly into my skin, he was averting his eyes like he wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary and I couldn't help but smile. Aiba and him both had thick hair - which if given the chance I would love to run my fingers through. And where Aiba kept his brown and in auburn colours, Kazama's was naturally black and a little more unkempt, which I adored above anything else and seeing as most of us were balancing on the line of being tipsy versus drunk, I might actually have my shot at touching those awesome locks before the night was over. 

Aiba came to stand by us, all smiles and energized.  
"You really should try singing," he said in his broken English. I hated that their messed up English was still better than my little Japanese vocabulary, but I was grateful they spoke a language I could at least understand.  
"No, thanks," I mumbled into my bottle of beer eyeing the room for ninth time. Most of the people who responded to the impromptu party were from the JE agency and a few 'well known' others from the entertainment industry. There had to be over forty people here. I also spotted the few people who weren't affiliated with any of the industry; they kind of looked like me; a little out of place and very much impressed with the sheer talent in this particular room.

"Aww, come on," Kazama pressed, "We can sing together. I haven't done karaoke in ages." His 'ages' were most likely days or weeks, mine were years, as in my whole life. I've done it maybe twice and no, being on the border of drunk didn't anything good for my voice. And I wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget my reservation of making a public spectacle of myself with these famous people all around me.  
"Yeah,"Aiba cheered, "we totally can do a group thing; I'll ask some people to join us. So think about a song already. Be right back."

Kazama laughed at my mortified look as Aiba skipped away.  
"It's not that big a deal."  
"Clearly you have never heard me sing. I can't carry a tune if my life would depend on it. It's not something I do for fun."  
"But I've heard you sing with your headphones on. You aren't that bad, really," he countered amused. The only times he actually heard me sing was when I was waiting for him at the parking lot in front of the building they worked in. I still felt mortified  
"The object being headphones - I don't have to hear myself sing," I mumbled back hoping he'd drop this conversation soon.  
"I bet you sing in the shower," he whispered, lowering his voice and looking a bit too fondly in my eyes with a small blush. He was too endearing and I wondered if he got that from the alcohol or from just talking to me. I was hoping on the latter, but all the heat I was feeling was a combination of pending embarrassment and alcohol consumption.

Aiba jumped back to us, following the rhythm of someone singing a pretty good reprise of Murder on the Dancefloor, some late, old millennium track.  
"And what have you decided on?"  
"Let's do an Arashi song!" Kazama joked, downing the last of his beer and reaching out to find a new on the bar which we stood next too for the moment. Aiba seemed extremely pleased by the idea.  
"That's a great idea! We can all sing those!"  
"No it's not," I countered feeling more dread, "apart from the fact that I can't sing - AT ALL - you want me to sing in Japanese? Have you forgotten how much my Japanese sucks? There are only kanji and kanas subs to read from and I can't read kanji! Choose a song with phonetics and we can talk." Throwing words like phonetics at them amused me a little. They might know basic English, but I was still better at it than they were. Of course, after sparing me a look they flawlessly spoke in Japanese making me sigh in frustration and I walked out on them while they laughed at me.

Since the couch was loaded with people I sat on the only spot available, the arm rest, to watch the singing and reading the lyrics to the best of my ability, which I knew was next to nothing. I avoided eye contact with both guys, and tried to control my anxiety and plan my escape route accordingly in the event they still wanted me to sing.  
"You okay?" Matsumoto Jun eyed me carefully from the side as he came to stand next to me. Feeling a bit stunned I just nodded, which I knew was kind of impolite, but it wasn't everyday that a bundle of pure charisma walked up to me to ask me if I was okay. He gestured with his head to Aiba and Kazama who were in a heated but seemingly hilarious discussion with some of their sempai.  
"You're friends with Aiba-san and Kazama-san, right?" I nodded again, feeling more distraught from the fact that I couldn't get myself to talk or even answer this guy, who was after all just another guy, no matter how famous he was. I heard Kazama's words telling me this over and over. 'Idols are just people - don't go nuts on them and you'll be just fine'. Looking at the handsome figure in front of me, making my hands clammy by just standing there with a half smile on those lips I tried to pretend Kazama's words were true. It's just that some people were more famous than others.

"I'm Matsumoto Jun," he introduced himself reaching out his hand to shake mine. There were alarm bells going off in epic proportion inside my mind, and I had to summon all my might to not just stare at his hand, but to grab it and tell him my name.  
"I'm Evangeline Bernardson, or rather, Bernardson Evangeline. But if you'd call me Bernadson-san it would be totally weird, so you'd have to stick with Evangeline, if you don't mind. But if you can't really pronounce that, Eva will work and I really need to stop talking now before I embarrass myself!" Mortified I looked at him, a hand covering my mouth in shock, "Oh my gosh. I just said that out loud. Oh, please, excuse me." Stammering to the max, with the burning shame on my cheekbones, I walked over to where Aiba and Kazama were laughing in an effort to hide. I really wanted to hide behind their backs forever and never let myself show in public EVER again. I found a half empty sake bottle on a table and poured myself a glass full. Yay for alcohol and it's power to overcome embarrassing situations and loosening inhibitions! Kampai!  
"You know, that's not how you pour sake; there are rules for pouring sake."

I dropped the bottle instantly upon hearing Jun's voice right next to my ear as if he was looking over my shoulder to what I was doing.. The bottle hit the ground making me jump backwards, right into Jun who kept me steady with just his hand in the small of my back. His soft laughter floated around me. The sound travelled right down my spine, making me feel tingly all over.  
"You are by far the most jumpy girl I have met to date, and I've met quite a few jumpy people." He walked around me to clean up the mess I made on the floor. At least the bottle didn't break, but half the sake which was left in the bottle was now on the floor. I handed him a towel I spotted and we both cleaned up my mess. Talk about feeling mortified some more.  
"I am really sorry I startled you that much," he told me grinning and flashing his smile again, making me believe Kitagawa-san definitely had a 'How to make girl swoon with a smile 101' class for Johnny's Finest to follow. Of course those classes were followed by 'how to make girls find you irresistible with a single stare 101' and 'How to make girls drool all over you 101'. I was sure Kitagawa-san had a 'How to make girls love you so they'll spend their money on you 101' curriculum for his Idols. I just nodded in response to Jun. Not being able to smile back or relax in his presence just yet.

Aiba squatted beside me, eyeing Jun and whispered rather loudly so Jun could hear.  
"I leave you alone for one second and here you are on your knees in front of Matsujun - you really do work fast." My actions wiping up the sake stalled. Mortified didn't even come close to what I felt now as the flustered state turned to a crimson colour on my cheeks. And it was anger which took control pushing aside embarrassment in that moment.  
"That's not funny, Masaki- _san_ ," putting all the venom I could muster in that one syllable, where as I normally would call him Aiba-chan. "I am doing to best I can to keep my act together, and you are dragging me from one party to the next, and I can't handle all these famous people. I feel out of place, EVERY FREAKING TIME, and you don't even seem to notice any more." I heard his name being called together with Kazama's, mine and some others, so I couldn't help it when I threw the wet towel to his head adding, "And I DO NOT want to SING!"

I left him where he was. I hadn't actually shouted the words, so there was no major drama. But Aiba wouldn't be Aiba if he didn't come after me, not being so drunk as he seemed a few moments ago. I was waking down the hall, when he caught up with me.  
"Don't fucking leave like that!"  
"Then what do you want from me? I'm not cut out for your lifestyle, no matter how many different parties you bring me to!" It sounded like we were having a lover's quarrel, which wasn't far of from the truth, if we had been indeed lovers, which we were not. I was fond of Aiba, and I loved him for who he was. But that didn't mean that I could follow where he went. And it was hard because he wasn't the only one who I loved, but he was the only one who invited me to come along when he had free time to spend. 

"Fine, then I won't invite you any more." It sounded hurt, but not as hurt as the impact of those words had on me. This was what I wanted, right? No more parties. But what if the hidden meaning was that he wouldn't want to see me ever again? That would mean I had lost a close friend, right? I could feel the blood drain from my face, making me feel cold and weirdly alone.  
"You don't even know what you want, do you?" I looked up to him. There was a smugness and some concern in those deep brown eyes of his. And I definitely hated it when he was smarter at reading me before I knew myself. I shrugged and sighed defeated.

"I'm sorry, truly, I am." Before I could add something to that apology I was wrapped up in those long arms of his, pressed tightly to his body. My hands found their way loosely around his waist, dwelling from a moment on the feeling that it was pure awesomeness being hugged by Aiba.  
"I'm sorry too," I heard him say above me, "Kazama and I hadn't thought so many people would find the time come by as it was kind of a spur of the moment thing. We thought it would be ten people tops."  
"It's okay," I breathed letting myself enjoy his warmth, "Let's not fight about about who's more sorry. We already did that last time and that was even worse than the argument we had before that." I heard him giggle and his arms tightened a little, lifting me from the ground in another hug I'd come to expect from him before he let me go. "Let's go back. And I promise I won't make you sing any thing Japanese."  
"You're not making me sing anything, Aiba-chan.  
"Yeah, yeah," he relented dragging me back by the wrist pretending not to see me roll my eyes at his comment. He always did the hug thing, no matter what discussion we had. And I had to admit that was definitely the best way to end an argument - and a perfectly good reason for picking one. Though it had occurred to me that I could just ask for a hug. There was something infinitely nice about being hugged by Aiba-chan. Like being wrapped in a cloud of cheeriness - there's no possible way you'd feel moody after that. And I'd seen its effects on both genders.

Jun was standing with Kazama watching a group including Arashi's Leader do a line dance to some weird French dance music while at least three others were trying to sing it and failing miserably.  
Aiba pulled me between them to watch and left his arm loosely around my shoulders to keep me from going any where; breathing into my ear that I couldn't possibly sound worse than they were. I smiled, because he really had no idea at all. Kazama nudged my shoulder and smiled back, sharing the same smug look as if he had heard Aiba and shared my opinion on the matter.  
"Why aren't you filming this," Jun mumbled to Aiba who grinned.  
"I'm terribly sorry, but weren't you the one who said I should never ever film these parties ever again? Or was that just your pride alone that was on the line that time?" Jun made a face, but the effect was lost due to the grin he couldn't help. If there was one thing I already was aware of, it was the closeness and more-than-friends-way Arashi members had between them and their closest friends. Granted I wasn't one of those friends, but it was displayed so often I couldn't help feel jealous of the intimacy. 

The dancing was something from their junior days, Kazama told me, to which Jun added that even Aiba probably knew those steps and if he please 'would show us'. It took perhaps all of five steps to kick his Leader against the leg as he turned the wrong way, making Ohno lose balance and bump into a few others. It might have been accidental, but the wide smile Aiba was sporting watching the others pick themselves up from the ground told another story, especially when they decided to jump on Aiba in amuse retaliation. 

It was fun watching the others from a distance as they mingled and sang. I was and would always be content with just watching.  
"What's so funny?" Jun sounded next to me, holding a bottle of sake indicating for me to hold out my glass. He poured a generous quantity neatly into my glass unlike Abai who spilled half of it over my fingers a while ago.  
"Nothing," I shrugged happily, "Just them having fun." I pointed to Kazama hanging in a laughing fit against Aiba. 

Noticing how I now could talk to one of the Japan's most desired man I lifted my glass.  
"To friends and having friends. Kampai."  
"Who exactly are you friends with?" the question sounded curious and I smiled into my glass as I drank some of the sake before realizing this was not the cheap stuff I was drinking before. I looked for the bottle Jun had been holding but couldn't locate it.  
"Do you want to long story or the short version?"  
He looked at me funny, "There are two versions of the same explanation?"  
I nodded, "Depending on what you want to know and how much you want to know." He didn't really seem to know how to react to that.  
"Short version I guess?" to which I nodded.  
"Kazama-kun," it was the shortest I could make it and I tried to sound as dead pan as I could. Jun just looked a bit stupidly before catching up.  
"That is really a short version."  
"Could be shorter even, and more confusing. I could've said Shun-kun." I mused smiling as I could at least see three different Shuns in the room.

"Are you drunk?" I knew enough to stop talking. People only tend to ask you that, when they can't make sense of your words.  
"I think it's save to say I am." Jun just nodded smiling. Where aiba and Kazama shared the same eye blinding sparkly way of smiling, the smile flashing across those lips next to me were a sure reminder of why he was one of Japan's most desired men. One who had taken it upon himself to keep me company, for reasons I failed to understand. But maybe it was just a thing he did, since both my escorts had forgotten I was there. Maybe he really was just a nice guy wanting to make sure every one was having a good time, or maybe he was just curious of why Aiba and Kazama took me with them so often.  
"What's the long version?"  
"Of what?" Jun laughed out loud at my comment and my confused look.  
"Of your friendship story with my friends."


End file.
